We can't sacrifice freedom of information and we shouldn't anyway

I have found that I have an “underlying condition,” so I went willingly, if not eagerly, down to the clinic to get the third dose on a recent Thursday. I did have adverse reactions to the ol’ shoulder jab after both of the first two doses last year—two days of fever, chills and heavy fatigue. But I got the same from a flu shot, so I wasn’t too worried.

I woke up at midnight that night with a rapidly revising opinion. It wasn’t the fact that my shoulder was swollen up like a balloon and painful to the touch or the fever and chills or even the diarrhea that had me worried. It was the searing fire burning off the lining of my stomach. That was disturbing.

I writhed in bed (when I wasn’t crawling to the toilet) for several hours observing as the unrelenting pain grew and grew to a crescendo that had me mewling on my mattress like a hurt kitten. I am used to being able to go back to sleep even with some discomfort but there was clearly no help for it.

I reached out for my phone with a shaking hand and started googling. Was this a regular sort of side effect or some kind of rare and dangerous reaction? I searched on the web and on social media. Surely, if people had this kind of reaction there would be mentions.

Image by Yuris Alhumaydy via Unsplash

But there weren’t. And that scared me more than the searing pain itself. That could mean this must not be a “normal” adverse reaction and it might well be dangerous.

I made the decision then, at about 3 am, that if the pain increased any further I would call 911. I was 20 miles by icy roads from my nearest family members and I can’t drive, though driving in the condition I was in would have been highly inadvisable even if I normally could.

I am not the kind of person to call an ambulance for anything short of the apocalypse. I didn’t call emergency services last spring when my son was injured in a bike accident and he came too close to comfort to dying as a result of my reticence. I have only actually called an ambulance once in my life, when my husband thought he was having a heart attack and our first child was four months old. And that time the ambulance crew griped at me for calling them “over nothing,” because it turned out to be a false alarm.

So, I didn’t call and I waited another agonizing and terrifying three hours until 6 am when a doctor friend in another time zone woke up and answered my text and confirmed that this kind of reaction happens, that she’s seen it and that ibuprofen probably wouldn’t hurt me more.

It didn’t help much either. But what did help a great deal was the reassurance that I wasn't dying of some weird reaction or appendicitis brought on by the chemical brew. And later in the day, my mother braved the icy roads and brought me activated charcoal, which really did help. I still had chills and fatigue and a bit of diarrhea for two days but that is nothing compared to that searing pain.

Spread the word about the activated charcoal as an antidote!

But my advice is that you do so without using the word that I have avoided here which starts with a V or the other word I have avoided which starts with a C. Because if you use either of those words, your post or social media message will be de-prioritized, hidden, deleted or otherwise disappeared.

And that is a sad state of affairs. Really. More than sad. Even dangerous.

Look, don’t get me wrong here. I live in VERY rural, very conservative America. I’ve had a group of sign-waving wackos yell at me for wearing a mask. I’ve heard it all, the nano chips, the fake news virus, and the three people who went blind (or died) from the shot who a friend of a friend told the person I’m speaking to about. I do understand the frustration and I’m even relatively okay with pressuring platforms to cut off rabid purveyors of conspiracy theories and disinformation, as Niel Young did (and yes, he’s awesome for lots of other reasons too).

But there is a vast difference between such conspiracy theories and personal reports of unpleasant side effects to the shot and helpful remedies for those side effects. I am talking to my people, the people who already agree that the virus is dangerous, inoculations in general have deeply changed our society for the better and protecting the vulnerable is important. Please think this through.

There are crucial reasons why we cannot accept the silencing of personal experiences and even the censoring things we don’t agree with.

1. There will be some terrified person who was responsible enough to get the shot waking up in agony tonight somewhere and the next night and the next. And they’ll be googling and they won’t find much except platitudes about how “adverse reactions are rare…” The terror of those hours matters. Allowing comments about side effects may give ammo to a few extremists, but it will calm the fears of those who have done the right thing and it will actually increase the likelihood of some to get the poke.

2. I am not alone in actually trusting science. I know why the messaging hasn’t been consistent. Because it is f—king science, people! They actually have been learning things over the past two years. They were cautious when they didn’t know about this new strain and now they do know something, so they have changed their recommendations. Because they are real doctors and real scientists and they care more about helping people than about appearing to have always been perfectly right. It is not that complicated.

3. By the same token, I trust a pharmaceuticals MORE when the side effects are fully and widely discussed, not less. That means that the companies care about them and are working to improve the given medication and it is unlikely that something worse is being suppressed. That is how trust of science works. This kind of silencing is a worse blow to public confidence in science than any tinfoil-hat influencer could ever dream of striking.

4. And it has never been more urgent to remember that whatever tactics one uses in this country against political enemies WILL be used against you in return one day. I remember back during the days of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars when the censorship of critical voices in the American mainstream media was problematic and many of the same people who are now most committed to curtailing the virus were justifiably upset about it. But we had free rein on social media and alternative media was accessible if you just knew where to look. When I think of the devastation a right wing power center could do with the tools of website de-prioritization and social media silencing for political purposes, I really start to worry.

5. Last but not least, we set a precedent—one which our children observe—when we sacrifice important ethical principles to counter a foe. We essentially hand those principles to that enemy. With this kind of suppression, we are handing the principle of freedom of information to right-wing extremists. And that is a crying shame.

While I know that those in a position to actually change these practices aren’t reading my blog, it matters what we, ordinary people, think and talk about. The reason there has been such overt suppression of critical reports, personal experiences and differing opinions on this is because a large portion of the population enthusiastically supported blocking that stuff. I know. We were reacting to pretty extreme provocation but still, this has gone too far and public opinion may still be able to turn back this unwise step.

Please make your concern about this known, if you agree that we can’t, and shouldn’t, sacrifice freedom of information.