Open letter to the disability advocacy movement

I am writing here as one of the poster children of this movement, as a person who truly owes my chance at even the most basic education to the movement. In April 1977, when I was exactly one year old, a group of disability rights activists occupied the federal building in San Francisco for 26 days with minimal food and supplies (and what they had was donated by the Black Panther Party).

The direct result of that protest was the implementation of Section 504, the foundational document of civil rights for people with disabilities in the United States, including the right to attend public school which was not at all assured for blind students, like me, at the time. (See the documentary Crip Camp on Netflix for further info.)

I am writing to those who carry on that tradition in myriad capacities—activists, advocates, teachers, lobbyists, policy makers and everyone else still working hard for the civil rights and equity of people with all kinds of disabilities. I write with overwhelming love and gratitude. And I also write with concern and to raise a flag of caution.

Image of a camp fire and sunset from my solo backpacking trip in the blue mountains of eastern oregon - photo by arie farnam

We have come to a time in this movement where we must be very conscious of what we are doing and who we may inadvertently exclude or abandon. This movement was founded on ideals of radical equality. We are for all people with disabilities and no one is too disabled to be outside our concern.

When I entered school in 1982 in a tiny rural town in Eastern Oregon, I entered a school that had still never served a child with a visible disability, and they didn’t want any. It was a small rural school without great resources and this seemed like a lot of extra work.

But Section 504 was law by then and unwilling and unfriendly as the school administration might have been, I went to school. All through the ‘80s, I fought “the good fight.” And when I say I was a poster child, this is literal. There were several disability rights posters with a photo of me in a tie-dyed shirt and giant glasses peering avidly at a computer screen at a distance of one inch. I knew about them and I approved. I wanted to be included everywhere. I subscribed to the demand for universal integration and the belief that people with disabilities could do anything anywhere.

In 1990, the ADA opened up more opportunities for me and I pressed every advantage, went to college and graduated suma cum laude. I was determined to “show them” (i.e. those who hadn’t wanted me in elementary school and anyone else with an ableist tendency). I was loud and proud. I would just barely admit that I wasn’t going to be a pro-basketball player or a jet pilot, but that was about it for concessions. Instead, I decided to become an international newspaper correspondent and spent several years tramping around war zones while neglecting to mention to my employers that I was legally blind.

I have written incessantly on this blog about the social exclusion that people with disabilities so often face. And this month I started taking a course to help me become a more effective parent advocate for my kids, who both have developmental disabilities. From poster child to foot soldier, this is my movement.

But becoming the adoptive parent of kids with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum disorders has shaken some of the fundamental slogans of that movement for me, slogans like “integration first” and “dignity means the freedom to take risks” and “self-determination at all cost.”

Those things were important to me as a visually impaired student and dare-devil young adult. So what’s the problem?

The problem is that each disability affects a very specific part of a body. Mine affects my eyes. It is ableism then to restrict activities that rely on or can rely on other parts of my body. It would be unacceptable to restrict me from being a parent, because of fears that I might not “see” my toddler swallowing an object and choking. Blind parents keep their toddlers safe by both carefully cleaning and listening with specific attention. There is nothing that says parenting is primarily about seeing.

It’s a different matter though when it comes to driving. Driving does rely very heavily on seeing and so far we don’t have an alternative that makes it safe for a blind person. So, that is specifically and legally denied to us and that, in my view, isn’t ableism, even though I expect people with my level of vision impairment to exercise good judgement and stay the hell away from steering wheels without being legally forced to. So, essentially, I’m okay with that law.

Now, let’s take another example, Let’s say a person with ADD wants to be an air traffic controller and they have the training and otherwise qualify. There are some pretty hairy attention and focus acuity tests you have to pass to do that job. Should people with ADD be legally barred?

No, there’s already a test. Some people with ADD may not be able to focus in the way needed for air traffic control. Others may actually be better at spreading attention across the entire field and thus ensuring they don’t miss peripheral input that could be essential. They should take a test that simulates the actual requirements of the job, like everyone else, and be hired or not based on that, not based on their disability.

I’d even be willing to adopt this standard for vision and driving. What if you just had to take an exacting simulation driving test that included poor light situations, sketchy traffic and small children running out into the road, instead of being qualified or disqualified based on your ability to read a chart in an office? Maybe a good idea! (But I’m still going to flunk either way.)

Most disability advocates ought to be on the same page with me so far. But there are underlying assumptions in the disability rights movement that were so deeply engrained in my thinking that they took years and incredible pain to extract.

We often assume that only certain human faculties can be a legitimate disability. Everyone, regardless of disability, can strive and work hard. Everyone, regardless of disability, can make their own decisions and exercise self-determination. Everyone, regardless of disability, does better with more information and chances to learn. Even, everyone, regardless of disability, is better off when fully integrated with able-bodied peers.

I used to believe these things with fervor. I still wish they were true. But they are not true for everyone.

It’s relatively easy for people to understand that any part or capacity of our physical body can be disabled. But it’s harder for people to grasp the complexity of brain-based disabilities.

Most of us have learned that dyslexia is a very specific thing that affects a person’s ability to process written words. It often has a few other side effects, but we get that a person can be dyslexic and struggle terribly with reading and still be extremely smart and capable in other mental areas. My husband and my brother are both dyslexic and both are college grads and very possibly smarter than me.

ADD is harder for non-experts to grasp, but the diagnosis has become so prevalent that I’m betting you can accept that ADD and ADHD affect very specific parts of the brain that govern attention and focus. Again, different people may have a variety of side effects along with that central effect, but people with these brain differences actually score higher on average on standard intelligence tests than the norm. It’s a disability that is located in the brain but it does not make a person unintelligent any more than my vision impairment renders me completely physically incapable.

BUT (and this is a really tricky “but") brain science has progressed far enough for us to understand that there are specific parts of the brain and brain faculties for everything we do and for every human quality. Importantly in this case, there is a part of the brain governing what are called “executive functions.” This is essentially the control center of the brain and it is essential for making decisions, understanding logic, time, and cause and effect, regulating impulses, emotions, desires and everything else the brain does, and even driving the ability to get motivated, prioritize or cope with frustration.

We are used to thinking of these things as “moral” issues. A person either makes good decisions, shows up on time, controls their anger and momentary desires, makes an effort, shows motivation and swallows frustration or they just deserve what they’ve got coming, which is nothing good from us or from society.

A person with profound developmental disability may have some disability in making decisions but generally not beyond the rest of their mental abilities. As a result, even though they have difficulty making decisions, their general cognitive difficulties are obvious to themselves and others. Hopefully, we accommodate them and they are able to realize their limits and accept help with decisions (like whether or not to rent an expensive apartment), much the way I accept that I can’t drive.

You know who doesn’t have the kind of good judgement about whether or not they can make a decision without help that most developmentally disabled people have? Drunk people. Yup, that’s right. Alcohol attacks this very specific part of the brain, the center for executive functioning. More than any other drug, this is where it strikes.

Now, before you get up in arms about how drunks don’t deserve a level of social protection that would divide the disability rights movement, let me remind you that there is a group of people, a very large group in fact, that suffers from the disabling effects of alcohol permanently and without ever taking a drink—babies born to mothers who drank while their were pregnant.

It is no surprise really that, if alcohol disrupts inhibitions and decision making, lowers cognitive abilities, regulation, motivation and responsibility levels in a person who drinks it, it will also attack those same parts of the brain in a fetus. As we’ve all been told at some point, there is no safe amount of alcohol in pregnancy. While more alcohol generally creates worse effects, it depends on when exactly in the development of the fetus it happens and likely on many other factors.

To be clear, I am talking about just one specific disability. But it is a disability that according to neurologists affects 1 in 20 people in the United States. It is more common than autism and at least as disruptive to daily life. It is also much harder to correctly diagnose and accommodate.

Many people with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum disorders (FASDs) throughout history have been written off by their families, communities and society at large as unmotivated, lazy, uncaring and immoral, because society misunderstands that their lack of regulation and the disruption in basic logical concepts is a disability, not a choice.

An example came up in the disability advocacy class I’m taking. The instructor repeated our movement’s call for self-determination of all young adults with disabilities. Everyone deserves to make decisions for themselves and most decisions worth making involve a certain amount of risk. “The freedom to take risks” is a popular buzz term in disability advocacy.

Several parents, myself included, raised concerns, however, explaining that policies our movement is pushing at state and national levels are directly harming people with FASD because they do not take into account the diversity of needs. A one-slogan-fits-all approach will abandon these vulnerable members of our community to the prisons and homeless encampments where far too many FASD adults end up because our society judges their disability as moral failings or lack of effort.

When parents of teens with prenatal exposure raised this concerns in class, the instructors shot down each one, dismissing the concern as “overprotective.”

I know the scourge of overprotectiveness has hounded people with disabilities for far too long. Much of my success and independence as a legally blind person is the result of my parents’ very liberal parenting in a natural environment where I was allowed to “run wild” with sighted kids. It is also the result of all those years of “passing” for sighted as a young adult and thus avoiding many other potential protective barriers. I met other visually impaired kids at summer camps when I was a teenager and was shocked to find that many who could technically see better than me couldn’t walk on slightly uneven ground unaided or cross quiet streets or climb trees.

These are examples of risks that many parents want to protect a blind child from, fearing that we cannot see the dangers. But blind people with full executive functions know their own limits better than anyone else. It isn’t the seeing that is most important in this risk taking, it’s the assessment of limits and testing of cause and effect. I didn’t rush out and jump off a cliff when I was a kid, even though there were several handy. I explored at my own pace. I learned to throw pebbles ahead of me to test the ground, since using a stick on such uneven ground as our mountain backyard wasn’t feasible. I remembered keenly every rock and hollow and hole in the meadows and every tree and fallen log in the woods. That was how I ran free as a kid and it taught me skills that translated into adult independence.

But my disability was in seeing. My children’s disabilities are in exactly the tools needed to take measured risks. They cannot test cause and effect and gain from it. They cannot explore and then predict. They cannot remember past mistakes and avoid pitfalls the next time. They can improve a little in this with development, but not through “effort,” any more than I can try harder to see.

I’ve been criticized by disability advocates for saying things like this and accused of insulting my children. This is like saying it is an insult to a blind person to insist that it is not appropriate to hold up a printed sign they can’t see. My kids have all kinds of gifts—in social interaction, in athletics, in fashion sense, in just working hard at tasks others might find too boring. But just as I cannot receive information through sight very well as a legally blind person, there are channels that are disabled for them.

Those are partly sensory and partly cognitive, but they are precisely the channels our society leans on most heavily by forcing people to make hundreds of snap decisions each day, deal with contradictory stimuli intended to trick people into impulsive behavior, always consider the long-term effect of our actions and navigate attempts at manipulation and exploitation.

Upon moving to our small town two years ago, my son was picked out as “an easy mark” by a local drug gang within a few short months. The ringleader intuitively understood that this twelve-year-old couldn’t foresee consequences. He gave him candy and compliments, and then asked him to carry packages for the gang. My son was talked into taking hundreds of dollars in cash and distributing it to “friends” at school. He didn’t make decisions in order to end up in these situations. He responded to social interactions and the predictable dangers were not apparent to him. He could not look at the possible implications or resist the temptation of immediate inputs and his strong desire to be accepted. As hard as it may be for others to swallow, these faculties are the core of his disability.

When my children become young adults, the disability rights movement as it stands today would have them decide whether or not they want a parent or guardian involved in their decisions or whether or not they want medical care or developmental disability services. They respond to momentary feelings of comfort and discomfort, rather than long-range cause and effect and they cannot conceptualize either time or the implications of decisions. A young adult with FASD may have a true long-term desire to be employed and live independently, but when it comes time to leave for work, being able to recognize the time and overcome the momentary unpleasantness of getting up early both directly challenge their disability.

An adult with FASD can be misled, defrauded, exploited, made homeless and left with out health care far too easily in our society, especially when our movement insists that each person is able to make their own decisions and spur of the moment decisions are considered definitive.

At thirteen, my son is caught up in the disability services system, which by state regulation in Oregon, insists that he should have sole decision-making power with regards to his finances. At thirteen.

Okay, you may say that’s not so bad, since he doesn’t have a lot of money and I should be the one saving for his future. That’s fine. I’m not even concerned about some serious savings plan. But he talks regularly about wanting to buy a toy drone and fly fishing equipment. These are real interests. He saves his money and works hard to plan for these things. But when he enters a store with one of the disability workers who often take him places, the rules say he can buy whatever strikes his fancy and they have a card with his money on it. And because his disability affects impulsiveness, time sense, number sense and cause and effect, he cannot conceptualize the cost to his long-term goals of buying every shiny trinket or junk food marketed to tap into his impulses.

The rules say that the disability services worker can discuss the purchase with him and remind him of his plan to save, but they have to help him spend his saved money on impulse buys if he insists on it. And he generally does because his brain lives in the moment.

To be frank, I wouldn’t do this to ANY thirteen-year-old, but so much less to a thirteen-year-old with this type of disability, and yet this is one of the rules that the disability advocacy movement has “succeeded” in forcing into state regulations. While a parent has decision-making power when it comes to the finances of most youth, I have no say in my son’s case because his developmental disability puts him in a category where “self-determination at all cost” is the law.

Even more disturbing is the Oregon law that now states that children as young as fourteen can make their own medical decisions, including refusing medical care. At the age of sixteen, they can make all health care decisions for themselves and keep these secret from their parent or guardian. There is no accommodation for children with developmental disabilities in this law, and the disability advocacy movement continues to push for ever heavier burdens of decision-making to be placed on the most vulnerable children.

My daughter is approaching the age of fifteen. She has medication that helps her to function enough to attend school most of the time and to live in a family environment safely. But the effects of the medication take days or even weeks to differentiate. These time intervals are far beyond her grasp. She can only decide to take medication or undergo other medical care based on her momentary experience of it. And a lot of medical care isn’t fun in the moment.

My daughter doesn’t yet realize that it is possible to tell a doctor “no,” so we just do what doctors recommend. But like many individuals with FASD, she has a strong aversion to authority and particularly parental authority. Given the emphasis by the disability advocacy movement on educating developmentally disabled youth about their right to refuse parental authority, she will learn soon. Neither of my children will choose help from parents or guardians now or in the foreseeable future. And the decisions they make on the spur of the moment are not in their true interests or even their real desires. They are the symptoms of the disability.

I want my children to be able to be independent. I want them to make their own plans and have goals and dreams. They do have these, and as best I can, for the moment, I protect their clearly stated plans, goals and dreams from the impulsive symptoms of their disability and from the bewildering, manipulative and exploitative corners of society.

One of the things often said by medical experts in FASD is that if someone wants to help a person with FASD, they must provide “a surrogate frontal lobe.” And this is what I attempt to do. When I’m saving for necessities or long-held desires, and I see something attractive that I keenly wish I could buy, my brain’s executive functioning center says “no.” When I feel great reluctance to undergo dental work, my brain’s executive functioning center in the frontal lobe makes me do it anyway.

My children can’t and aren’t medically expected to be able to do that for themselves. It is no different from me not being able to see. To throw them to the wolves of our society where one’s executive functions are often the only protection, is no different than putting. me behind the wheel of a car on a six-lane freeway.

I’m not likely to be chosen to coin slogans for the disability advocacy movement But I hope that we can remember our roots in radical equity as envisioned by the pioneers of our movement in 1977. They embraced disability as a fact and an identity. They asked accessibility and to seen as more than just their disability. They did not ask for their specific disabilities to be ignored or dismissed as irrelevant. All of that still applies today, and neuroscience backs it up.

Disability can affect any part of the human body or brain. Each person with a disability is different and is still a person with value. We ask that our lives, health, safety, access, inclusion, freedom and prosperity be as important as anyone else’s. We ask that when society has set things up for a certain type of person and that set up threatens the life, health, safety, access, inclusion, freedom or property of an individual that society makes changes to protect the individual’s rights. That’s it in a nutshell, ins’t it.

We have differentiated between equality and equity in our movement. Equality is saying everyone is allowed to use the steps and come into the building. Equity is making sure everyone has realistic access. Equality is saying “every person should make their own decisions in a manipulative and exploitative world and they can choose to get help or not.” Equity would be saying, “every person should have the support they need to truly make their own decisions.”

Parents, guardians and helpers of people with FASD are not being “overprotective” when we say that these individuals need real and definitive help with decision-making and risk taking. We are recognizing their specific disabilities and attempting to honor the decisions, desires and goals they express at times when their disability is not being directly challenged by stimuli they can’t process. We need the disability advocacy movement to acknowledge this disability for what it is and stand with our children. Insisting on slogans that harm the most vulnerable, because they sound good and work for most of us has already caused harm and it will continue to, if we don’t change course.

A giant movement is like a massive ship. Turning something this big wont’t be easy. But we can adapt, as we always have, to ensure that none of us are sacrificed for rhetoric.

A world designed for people like me

I have defended the terms “disability” and “disabled” in the past because I like both linguistics and logic. But today I’d like to do a thought experiment that may put those terms in peril.

There are those who don’t like the word “disability” because it implies that only one type of body is right and good and perfect. It places emphasis on some particular capacity that someone may lack when compared with a supposedly perfect standard, while ignoring non-standard capacities they may have that the standard human doesn’t possess. .

The Deaf community has made a good case for getting rid of the disability label. Many Deaf people live without any sense of disability because they live primarily within a community that uses sign language and written communication. Both entertainment and safety are also well developed in this community. And it is only when they enter the hearing community that Deaf people become more likely to suffer injury due to mishaps or to fall victim to police violence.

An image of a middle-aged blonde woman with sunglasses and an expression of peace - Creative Commons image by Marneejill of Flickr.com

An image of a middle-aged blonde woman with sunglasses and an expression of peace - Creative Commons image by Marneejill of Flickr.com

If a person is perfectly safe and able in one society but not in another, is the fault or lack of ability with the individual? Or is it rather a problem within the society?

Many of us assume it is the individual who should adapt. At the very least, it is easier for an individual to adapt than it is to change a whole society, and when we travel to different countries we accept that it is a good idea to adapt somewhat to the culture, and even more so, to the laws of that country.

But most people with disabilities don’t have the strong community and institutions that Deaf people have built up through years of struggle, and we likely never will. Disabilities come in many shapes and sizes and it is impossible for each group to build their own society. We will always be strangers and foreigners in a world that isn’t built by or for us. Beyond that, in many ways we cannot adapt to society for various physical and neurological reasons. That is why efforts have been made to adapt society just enough to give us a narrow opportunity to live.

Abled people often express a bit of resentment over these adaptations, as if parking spaces that allow people with mobility impairments to get to the store at all are somehow a huge advantage. I recently stumbled across a news story from my home state of Oregon, where I am moving in a couple of months that sent raw fear into me.

In the town of Brookings, Oregon, a woman named Jennifer Gaymen, who is visually impaired, like me, and also mildly mobility impaired, also like me, was arrested, jailed and charged with a felony for simply surviving in the only way she or I can. Like me, she can’t drive or move in the roadway, due to vision impairment. And she also can’t walk long distances due to an orthopedic illness. So, she rides a mobility scooter slowly on the sidewalk much like a wheelchair user. I do the same thing.

But a few years back, abled people in Oregon felt resentful of these mobility scooters, much like the disabled parking spaces. There were some abled people who abused electric scooters on sidewalks, behaving dangerously and scaring or injuring pedestrians. So, a law was passed banning all use of electric scooters on sidewalks. Because of the resentment toward people with disabilities this law was expanded to include mobility scooters and even to bar the use of mobility scooters on roads by anyone who doesn’t have a full automobile driver’s license, which essentially excludes the very people mobility scooters are intended for.

This is despite the fact that a search failed to unearth any case reports alleging that any person with a disability using a mobility scooter has abused pedestrian rules or endangered others on sidewalks in Oregon or anywhere else.

This law renders Jennifer Gayman and me—people who are normally quite active and capable—severely disabled and essentially homebound. Gayman was cited for riding her mobility scooter and then jailed and convicted of a felony for refusing to abandon her expensive mobility device in the middle of the night in the winter and walk two miles home, which she physically could not do.

She has sued the city under the American with Disabilities Act, a federal law which clearly states that people with disabilities can use whichever mobility device best fits their needs and that local laws must adapt. But she has been homebound and restricted from getting around for two years while the case languishes in the court system.

Once I might have been significantly disabled before this kind of technology existed, but today with the help of technology the “dis” or “un” abling part of mobility is significantly mitigated. If a law then imposes artificial disability on me, how should I be labeled? Does it make logical sense to say this is my “disability?” It isn’t my “dis” (wrong or lack of) ability that causes me to be homebound in that case. It is more correct to say that I am a “restricted” or “banned” person, because it is external restriction that imposes the primary limitation.

Maybe we should start using these terms when referring to individuals who live in a society where rules, laws and social norms restrict or ban them when reasonable and healthy adaptation is possible that would make them fully capable.

This all got me thinking about what a society would have to look like to make me completely abled without restricting others. Even allowing reasonable access for mobility scooters only makes me theoretically able to move a little bit—slowly and very locally.

Here’s the thought experiment then. What would it take to really make it so a person like me who is legally blind with some mobility impairment would be able to view my differences like many Deaf people do, simply as a difference rather than a disability?

To be clear, I can’t cover every type of different body or neurological type because I don’t have all those experiences. This is just an exercise in figuring out what would make the difference for me.

An image of older adults riding bicycles in professional clothing next to a modern street car in Copenhagen, Denmark - Creative Commons image by Dylan Passmore

An image of older adults riding bicycles in professional clothing next to a modern street car in Copenhagen, Denmark - Creative Commons image by Dylan Passmore

Getting around

The first issue has to be mobility because even though some of the other issues are arguably more important, history has taught us that if people with disabilities can’t get to the table, nothing ever changes. Secondly, the mobility issue is the one that would require the most difficult adaptation from society.

What I need is to be able to get around both locally and beyond about as fast as other people. That is simply what I would need in order to “not be disabled anymore,” to be able to work competitively, take care of all of my responsibilities and take advantage of all the opportunities everyone else takes for granted. I currently really appreciate ANY mobility options, even when they are much slower and more difficult than those most people enjoy. But this is what it would take to make me “abled.”

What could a society look like that would give me that?

Well, public transportation would have to be the mainstream. If there was personal automobile transport that you have to see in order to drive, it would have to be a secondary thing. Roads would not be what goes everywhere. Rail lines would. Roads would be the secondary sort of thing, like a hobby or something special.

Parking lots would be small and easily navigable on foot because most people would use trams, trolleys and trains for major transportation. Our cities would no longer be 60 percent asphalt, maybe 20 or 30 percent at most.

Because they would be used by vast numbers of people, these rail transport systems would be well funded by taxes and affordable for people to use, though it would be an expense, like gas is to many people today. You would hardly have to wait for the next tram or train in most places because that would be “the main road.” Because of the relative high speed of rail transport, the fact that these vehicles have to stop to pick people up at various stops would even out and transportation would be about as fast as road transport is today, except over long distances it might well be much faster. And I’m not even counting traffic jambs in this accounting.

All these public transport options would accommodate not just wheelchairs but every kind of mobility device and likely also bicycles for everyone who wants them. The first would ensure accessibility for all and the second would just be common sense.

Under these conditions, people with disabilities would move just as fast as abled people, and thus in a lot of ways, they would become abled and would be full competitors for jobs and full contributors to all of society.

Routes for bikes, scooters and walking would be everywhere and well adapted to the landscape and the rail transport system. There would always be a ramp. There might be some lanes for fast movers where pedestrians, children and people with vision or neurological impairment might not fit in, but there would always be a slower alternative and safety rules for when these intersect.

People with vision impairment could have color-coded elements on their scooters or bikes to warn faster riders about their difference in reaction times and perception, but they would also have to demonstrate that they were not dangerous to pedestrians and those slower than themselves.

Yes, these changes would mean that society would have to adapt to make people with mobility, vision and other impairments equal and abled. However, these adaptations would also help to solve climate change and be environmentally friendly for everyone. The reductions in air pollution and the greening of vast swaths of asphalt in cities would improve everyone’s quality of life and would likely mean more pleasant community space for everyone. It would require adaptation by society but the benefits would also go to everyone.

Social norms

The other most significant adaptation would have to be in social norms. First, we would have to start talking about diversity in terms of different shapes and types of bodies and brains as much as we talk about it when it comes to race and sexual or gender identity. It would help that, with the mobility adaptations detailed above, the fear of disability as debilitating and physically limiting would begin to abate among all people.

But some prejudices and stereotypes hang on long after legal and infrastructure restrictions have been lifted from a group of people, as we saw when the civil rights movement lifted many of the legal restrictions on people of color. It would take some time for social norms to develop so that people would not respond so negatively to a person with a facial or speech difference, but just as reactions to people with various skin tones have changed, this too can change and would go a long way toward making disability no more than a difference.

Just as there is a push to change social norms today to use the pronouns preferred by individuals with non-traditional gender identities, some social norms would need to change with regard to disabilities as well. People would need to become more flexible and educated in how they interact. Because 15 to 20 percent of people have a disability that affects communication and social interaction, flexible ways of interacting would become part of our educational system for everyone, just as spelling rules and how to use money are part of the curriculum today.

Everyone would know to speak directly and clearly to a Deaf person. Everyone would know to let a Blind friend know when they approach and who they are. Everyone would know not to move a Blind person’s things. Everyone would know how to interpret and engage with people with neuro-diversity because it would be a normal part of daily life and would be as much a part of manners as “please” and “thank you.”

Bullying people about a physical, neurological or other kinds of differences would become as anathema as any other kind of harassment. It likely wouldn’t disappear as harassment that we clearly see as serious and relevant today has not disappeared, but it would be treated with the same seriousness that assaulting a privileged person is in today’s world, and its occurrence would be massively reduced.

As a result, attitudes toward friendship, romantic relationships and professional relationships with people with any sort of difference would markedly improve likely without the need for much more in terms of explicit rules or “political correctness.”

Public services and commerce

Naturally, buildings and public spaces would be built to accommodate the various shapes and sizes and legs and wheels of modern humans. Ramps and elevators would be maintained and mainstream.

Public signs would be bold and large print—larger than surrounding advertisements. Advertisements would be given a specific space, and not allowed to dominate attention or prey on neuro-diverse people or disorient visually impaired people.

Many signs, buildings, transportation vehicles and other public objects would have a small short-range transceiver which could be picked up by bluetooth and cell devices, so that blind or text-impaired people could listen to an audio transcription or description through earbuds.

Thus a street car would announce over a common frequency its number, direction, stops and conditions. A hospital or mall map or sign board would give verbal directions directly into the earpieces of those who pointed and clicked at it. Public restrooms, information booths, checkout counters and other important points would provide a directional beacon and broadcast over several hundred meters.

An image of grinning military veterans with prosthetic limbs fist bumping while using mobility devices freely in the middle of a major road - Creative Commons image by Herald Post

An image of grinning military veterans with prosthetic limbs fist bumping while using mobility devices freely in the middle of a major road - Creative Commons image by Herald Post

There would not only be Braille and large high-contrast print on elevator buttons but also on the aisles in grocery stores and on other things everyone needs to use. All labels on goods in stores would be required to have a QR code (turned outward on the shelf) which could be quickly scanned for audio description. Sections of a store would also be clearly marked with large print and short-range audio beacons.

The brightest and most visible signs would not be advertisements but rather necessary information. Shopping would become a regular, pain-free activity even for visually impaired people.

Instructions posted on walls in public offices would show up as audio notifications and blind people would no longer have to rely on the kindness of strangers to inform them of rules or procedures when visiting the local city hall or health center. A lot of this would require technology but it is all technology which is already easily available and in wide use today for other things.

Technology, entertainment and work environments

Technology would be a great help in opening up productive engagement to people who were previously “disabled” by our society in so many other ways as well. In my case, facial recognition software could be used with a small camera worn on clothing or glasses that would recognize the faces at least of the people I had already met and would identify them to me with audio notifications. This would break down vast barriers in professional networking and community interactions.

Similar technology could be used to help visually impaired people navigate. Already mapping technology is able to tell us how to navigate within a few meters accuracy. A little investment could render blind people significantly abled by giving on-demand information about nearby addresses, hazards and points of interest.

Technology could easily be developed that would provide detailed description and warnings on familiar routes that the individual could input manually, including things as detailed as when a step is needed and which direction to turn and how much. With the technology we have today cell phones could easily tell a blind person where to find a known person or a nearby business or landmark with detailed on-foot instructions. While most of these technologies stop their assistance once the person is close enough to theoretically look up and see what they are seeking, the assistance could be extended for blind people.

One piece of technology which I have not yet seen but which could be developed with our current technology and which would greatly increase safety for blind and visually impaired people would be a program for a camera mounted on glasses or a headband that would identify obstacles through an earphone.

While a properly made white cane is actually a pretty nifty piece of mechanical technology, it only identifies obstacles on the ground and many injuries happen because of signs, awnings, tree branches and the like at higher levels, especially at face level. Even service dogs (may they be always appreciated) don’t always catch everything.

We have devices that beep when there is an obstacle behind a car backing up, and we could have a much more sophisticated detector mounted on glasses that would help a blind person navigate safely. The same technology with a bit more development could even be adapted to help with tracking moving objects, animals and people, and might eventually provide an aid to self defense and sports.

Some technology changes would require human intervention, at least in the beginning. We would still need humans to put closed caption text and audio description into movies and TV shows or onto media images, but these would be regular jobs within these industries because people with visual and auditory differences would be normal members of society with the economic clout to matter and even if they weren’t a “big enough” demographic to be “profitable,” it would be part of the social norm, to include these things.

Would there still be jobs that I couldn’t do because of my vision and mobility differences? Sure, there would. I still couldn’t be an airplane pilot or a pro-basketball player in the sighted league. But neither could most people. It takes a very specific set of abilities and skills to excel at those jobs and you don’t have to be what is considered “disabled” today to be out of the running. I also couldn’t be a banker, because I am constitutionally incapable of focusing on money that much. We would all continue to have different talents and ability levels in specific areas.

In a fully adapted world, not everyone would be suited to every job. But everyone would have some useful and appreciated talent. Technology would help in in many cases but it would no longer be surprising that a blind person or a person with a wheelchair is a successful professional.

A few more details just for me

Everybody has their own specific needs and with the development of technology I hope that some things will become more affordable that would help me to do things as fast as everyone else.

For example, I would love to have talking measuring cups or even an electronic mixing bowl that would measure or weigh ingredients audibly as I put them into the bowl. Another thing that would allow me to cook my family’s meals better and faster would be small electronic chips on my jars and containers of ingredients that would make a small sound when called for. The calling could be done from a cell phone through a voice activation system like Siri or Alexa.

I enjoy gardening and one of my pet peeves about my vision is that it is very hard to weed when I cannot see the difference between my small plants and the weeds. A technological solution in the future might be a program on a camera mounted on glasses that could be taught through a push of a button to recognize young plants at a certain stage of development. I could then find one of the plants I want to preserve, point the camera at it, push a button and dictate to the program what plant this is (since plant identification programs aren’t yet very accurate with very young plants). I could do the same with common weeds.

Then as I weeded the program could give me a running commentary of which plant the camera was pointed at. It might not be 100 percent accurate, but given the very specific identification in the immediate environment, it would likely be quite good. Beyond that, maybe someday scientists will develop gardening gloves with sensors on the finger tips that can differentiate between various plant DNA. I’m getting a bit sci-fi here but the fundamental technologies exist.

Like many people with mobility disabilities, I watch the development of ever more flexible mobility devices and ever lighter and stronger batteries with great interest. I recently saw a two-wheeled wheelchair like vehicle based on a Segway which can handle light off-road terrain. It’s currently prohibitively expensive, but the technology is there to allow me to get back into nature on the hiking trails I used to enjoy even through the pain of mobility impairment. I hope more and more devices will be made for people who are physically active, strong and well-balanced, but who have joint or bone difficulties that make off-road movement difficult.

I would love it if there was a program using a camera mounted on glasses that would help a blind person aim at a basket in basketball or strike at a baseball with a bat. It could be done but it would require the athlete to develop a lot of skill in responding instantly to the signals. But then, every athlete needs a lot of practice.

When I was a parent of young children, I tried to find some sort of bracelet that my toddlers couldn’t take off that would help me keep track of them with even greater accuracy. I got very good at telling exactly where my toddlers were and what they were doing by hearing. But a locator that could be called or which would make a noise if the child exited a prescribed area would have made our family life less rigidly controlled.

As it was, I had to have gates everywhere and be extra vigilant. It was doable but required a huge effort that could have been put into more fun and relaxation in those magical years with young children.

Those are all the things I can think of just now. I realize that I didn’t include anything in there about making visually beautiful things accessible to people with vision impairments. I would love it if museums always made tactile replicas of interesting and fragile exhibits so that people with vision impairments (as well as the world’s much more numerous tactile learners, such as nearly all children) could touch them.

But when it comes to seeing a sunset or a mountain vista, I actually really enjoy these already. I’m not totally blind, of course, and there is a need for writers to continue to have jobs creating endless and wonderful descriptions for those who are. but I believe beauty is something we all experience in our own ways. We can try to share it with people who perceive the world differently, but the truth is that all of us are “differently abled” in that regard.

Final thoughts

When I envision a world that is fully adapted so that I would no longer be “disabled” or “restricted,” it turns out that this imaginary world would be better for everyone else too. OK, some people might have to get their driving fix through video games or on special sports ranges, but with climate change, they’re going to have to do that anyway. And really is one hobby actually more important than the 20 percent of the population who cannot drive for one reason or another?

But we don’t live in that world. We live in a world where, in the state of Oregon, Jennifer Gayman (and every other person with some mobility difficulty who also cannot drive) is made to be severely disabled. This whole experience—seeing that news story and doing this thought experiment—has changed the way I feel about the word “disabled,” which I used to think was a reasonable factual descriptor.

In a lot of situations, we may have to start referring to some of us as “restricted” or “banned” people, because it isn’t the abilities of our bodies doing this to us, but rather the artificial constructs of society. When the benefits of available technology are denied to us, either by law or by economic marginalization, we are “restricted,” not “disabled.”

While I was writing this post, my father went and talked to the local police department where I will be living in Oregon and obtained an exception for me to be able to use a mobility scooter in that small town. I’ll have to mark it with large disability signs, which I really don’t mind personally. It’s the fact that my reprieve is limited to one town and even one generation of local officers that is worrying.

I will likely never live to see the adapted society I describe fully realized, but I do hope that I might just see a day when these kinds of restrictions imposed by society on me and many others are viewed the same way we now view racism or transphobia—at least by allies. We’ve been asked to wait our turn for inclusion for a long time. I hope our time will come.

The spelling police and the only divide between people that actually. matters

Here’s a surreal one for the annals of social media logs. A heated discussion recently broke out in a Facebook group called Blind Penpals about typos and spelling errors in posts and the ethics of calling people out over them.

I joined this group some years ago as a way to support a social media acquaintance from Macedonia who reached out to me. She’s blind and she started this group to get more social interaction in her life. I didn’t feel the need to ask why she was isolated. Blind and visually impaired people are so often dismissed and forgotten (at best) no matter what country they live in.

The group was only a handful of people and she needed numbers to get it going. I had kids with intense needs and jobs and urban homesteading, the works. I didn’t have enough local community acceptance and still don’t, but I have never lacked for online connections and I didn’t really want a penpal. But I have enjoyed the occasional perspective from other blind and visually impaired people around the world.

PHone texting man glasses - Image via pixabay.jpg

Image via PIxabay

Thanks to the handful of Eastern Europeans who jumped in and spurred Facebook algorithms to put the group in search results, it now has 7,300 members. It’s an English-speaking group so most of those are people in the English-speaking, privileged West of the world. And thus the discussion about typos and spelling.

As my readers know, I’m a professional writer, but that doesn’t mean I never make spelling mistakes or typos. Part of this is just that I type fast and often have a kid or two yelling at me while I edit my posts. The other part is a consequence of being visually impaired.

First, I rarely read print. It is laborious, painful and slow for me to read even if the print is large. I have read out loud to my kids for eleven years because a parent reading, both the actual warm body and the warm, imperfect voice, have amazing scientifically demonstrated benefits for children, especially children who spent the first months of their lives in cold institutions without these things. But it’s a labor of love. It’s hard and I wouldn’t do it for anything less vital.

For everything else, I listen—to audiobooks, to podcasts, to text-to-speech articles, to audio descriptions of TV shows, even to voiceover on my phone.

As a result, I don’t see words over and over again like most people in today’s world. I don’t have the reinforcement of spelling and didn’t have it as a child. I routinely encounter words I want to include in a blog post that I am pretty sure I have never seen in print before. When I realize this consciously, I look them up.

But a lot of the time I don’t slow down enough to notice and I spell the way I spell. If the word is a homophone, the spellcheck doesn’t even catch it. And at other times my spelling guesses are so far off I can’t find the correct spelling even if I search online. If you’ve been reading my blogs for a while, you’ll know what I mean.

But social media is much worse than blogs. When I blog, I write in relatively quiet moments and I go through and edit at least two or three times on each post. I post only every two weeks, so I have time to do that.

But social media is an ongoing conversation. It IS my social interaction and it is that for a lot of others during the pandemic and for a lot of people with disabilities even when there isn’t a pandemic. It’s like talking to people. I do it while I’m cooking dinner, fielding kids, digging up the garden, taking a five minute break from a translating job or standing in an elevator to the doctor’s office.

I can’t see much at all on the tiny screen of a phone and I use the accessibility settings to the hilt. I dictate nearly everything into my phone and I play back what I wrote, if there’s time. There often isn’t. When you speak into a speech-recognition app, there are going to be mistakes. I’ve gotten pretty good at using the technology. I know how to enunciate to increase my chances, but errors are still going to come up.

All this applies to most of the other blind and visually impaired people in the Blind Penpals group, except many of them learned English as a second language, have less residual sight than I have, have cheaper technology or have less education. Blind people never were very good with spelling and modern speech recognition technology may have made written communication a lot faster and easier for us but it generally increased the level of errors at the same time. I wasn’t the target of the shaming this time because I was one of the better spellers in the group, but the virtual heckling of others really got under my skin.

Last year, I was harried out of the local branch of Extinction Rebellion in no small part because of my error-ridden dictated messages in the group’s coordination system. No one ever said any of my messages were actually incomprehensible, but I had several major coordinating roles and I had to do a lot of messaging back and forth with volunteers.

I want to make clear here that Extinction Rebellion is an awesome movement and most of the volunteers are the best people in the world, who made me a cake to thank me for being their coordinator and were truly appreciative and cared not one iota about typos.

But there were a few people, particularly a coordinator who came from a more privileged background than most in the group, who couldn’t stand my errors or the way my messages sounded like someone speaking, rather than the clipped abbreviations which she preferred. After months of conflict over this issue and being banned from various activities she was overseeing, I left the group entirely to preserve my health and give my family some much needed TLC.

If I’d been younger, feistier and childless I probably would have stayed and fought for inclusion and maybe saved that XR branch from the disintegration that soon followed my exit. But my kids were in crisis, my health was suffering and the attacks were giving me PTSD flashbacks from much worse social ostracism in my childhood. I chose to heal and live to fight another day. But I did take a lot of lessons with me from that experience.

One of them was that even in the best circles, there are people who snap or peck at other people for reasons that A. don’t really matter and B. are beyond the personal control of the person being attacked. It’s the root of racism, ableism and pretty much all other evil as far as I’ve ever seen.

It isn’t the differences that hurt us. It’s the intolerance of difference.

Even in current American politics, it isn’t the fact that people disagree about the best ways to counter a pandemic. It’s the hatred of those who have different opinions that is breaking families, friendships and efforts to protect the vulnerable.

Willful endangerment by hugging people in large gatherings and refusing to wear a mask in crowded places isn’t about an opinion. It’s about denigrating and antagonizing those who have different circumstances and greater concern. On the other side of the political divide, shunning and shaming anyone who asks questions or mentions new information is another manifestation of the “us versus them” paradigm..

I don’t always enter the fray on social media. After I was hounded out of the local Extinction Rebellion group, I took a nine-month break from social media and had a lot fewer arguments in general. But I also became a lot more isolated. So, I’m back now and I pick my battles, but I do choose to occasionally stand up to those pouring shame on someone while they’re down.

The recent spat over typos and spelling errors on Blind Penpals was one such instance. There were several male members with English-sounding names who repeatedly posted about the high level of English grammar and spelling in mistakes in the group. They were from what I could access on their profiles all coming from fairly privileged situations. I don’t know whether they were actually blind and visually impaired as well, but they were westerners, native English speakers, and mostly men. Their style of posting showed that they had a lot of time to devote to social media and they didn’t have a lot of survival-level pressures in their lives.

I posted a brief reply on the first post informing the person offended by the errors that many in the group are non-native English speakers, and because it is a group of blind people, many also use imperfect voice recognition technology. I fully expected that to be the end of the discussion. Instead several others piled on and there were more posts harassing and shaming members whose posts were not perfect.

What I came to in the end of that discussion is worth repeating:

The issue is not that person A has an opinion and person B has an opinion and they are different. The issue is that person A has an opinion denigrating person B and feels empowered to share it widely and publicly and person B wants to be left alone and not harassed. It is time the world woke up to this thing.

I don’t care if your opinion is different from mine as long as your opinion has no bearing on anyone but yourself. If you are troubled by someone’s imperfect typing or dictating, someone’s skin color, someone’s accent, someone’s religion, someone’s sexual orientation, someone’s gender identity or lack there of, someone’s disability or body shape, go cry into a pillow.

Expressing a negative opinion about other people is pretty much the root of all the evil in the world. There are acts of nature that hurt us, but they aren’t evil. Even Covid is just a life form, living and procreating. Evil comes in when a thinking entity denigrates another, not in defense, but just because the other makes them feel uncomfortable or requires them to exercise patience, tolerance or self-discipline.

The old saying is true after all. There are only two kinds of people in the world. There is one important divide and that is between people who attack others simply for being different, uncomfortable or inconvenient or allow others to do so without challenge and people who defend against such attacks and insist on inclusion. It’s the only divide that actually matters.

I know typos actually do sometimes cause confusion or real problems. I also know some people really want to learn to use language better. I have spent the past fifteen years teaching writing craft and English as a second language. I spend all day essentially criticizing other people’s grammar or writing and helping them make it better.

But they asked me to do it and I never shame them. I have students who make the same mistake literally hundreds of times. But they are all doing the best they can. Bad grammar or bad spelling is never simply a matter of laziness. It is often a matter of being too stressed, rushing to much, difficulty focusing and all kinds of other things.

The problems that matter are the problems caused denigrating a person or a group of people. In this world, just about everything boils down to that.

The catch is that we aren't all permanently on one side or the other of that divide. I am dismayed when people I respect fall into the trap of shaming others or judging others without having all the information. It is crucial to keep this divide in mind. It doesn’t mean never criticizing. But it does mean paying attention to whether or not the person criticized had a real choice in their situation. And it means regularly checking your own confirmation bias.

Is your family gathering inclusive or just quiet on controversy?

There has been a rash of articles and posts about avoiding arguments and political or religious disagreements around the holiday table this year. The focus of most of these pieces is on peaceful, quiet and controversy-free gatherings.

Tensions haven’t been this high across family tables and between generations in half a century. Many of us are exhausted from the sheer complexity of modern life and by hardships and pain that seem to come out of nowhere. No wonder most of us just want peace more than anything.

Creative Commons image by Neale Adams

Creative Commons image by Neale Adams

And yet, quiet is also what happens when someone dies, prison doors close or bullies smirk in satisfaction.

When I read those posts on avoiding controversy, the picture that builds in my mind is of a woman or a few women—sweating and bone-weary—checking the turkey. Then, the man of the house comes and carries it to the table amid applause, though the only other time he touched it was when he commented critically on its size early that morning as a woman was putting it in the oven. He cuts it and magnanimously passes out pieces, while the women wash up the spatters and hurriedly take off aprons or tuck up hair as they run to take their places at the table.

One woman at this gathering with a chronic illness hid in the study and now she comes to sit down at the same time as the other women, hoping maybe no one will notice she wasn’t helping because of her physical pain and praying no one will ask her if she’s still trying to get pregnant or why she doesn’t just adopt. At the table, the LGBTQ+ teen sits silently, head lowered, with inner turmoil, fear and doubt hidden.

The aunt with a husband of another race and mixed race children is mysteriously absent after last year when someone brought up her husband’s professional advancement probably being due to some kind of affirmative action. The disabled child is told she’ll have to leave the table if she doesn’t stop asking for something. The solitary uncle with Asperger’s Syndrome is chided for putting his hands up by his ears… again.

The child is frightened into silence. The uncle is still. Everyone says something they are thankful for. Even the teen mumbles something about being grateful to be alive, which most laugh off as being teenage petulance. They eat and watch football.

That is a family table without controversy.

And I want no part of it.

I am not saying it has no merits at all. We are fortunate to have families like this. Many people with disabilities like mine who will spend this winter holiday entirely without family could probably teach me a thing or two about the virtues of gratitude.

But I just want to say that silence and a controversy-free table shouldn’t be our goal. The pain at that all-too-common table I described is no less than the pain at many tables where there are hard words spoken. The goal instead should be empathy and gentleness—yes, even gentleness toward those with too much privilege who may be oblivious to the difficulties faced by others.

It is a hard thing to pull off, but here are some tips I would like to implement for a holiday gathering that is a safe zone amidst conflict. You are welcome to join me in this effort.

  • Ask those who can to bring something or help out. Help children and teens to make some contribution. Give older people and sick people possibilities to contribute while seated, for example by watching a baby, folding the host’s laundry that otherwise won’t get folded, cutting up the salad or any number of other things that require little energy. Or encourage those you know are exhausted to relax.

  • Make sure that the same people who are usually working long hours in the kitchen during the holidays are pampered a bit and have as much help as possible. Make sure to appreciate contributions in front of others, including contributions that happen outdoors or which are less visible.

  • At the beginning of any such important family meal it is helpful for the host or other senior member to make a statement about inclusion and caring for all, such as, “I want everyone in our family to know that we love you and accept every part of you. We will love you and accept you at our table no matter how you dress, who you marry or don’t marry, what you do or don’t do for a living. If you’re in trouble, we are with you in sickness and in health, as best we can stand by you. The only way we’d have to love you from a distance is if you abused others and wouldn’t stop. Family by blood, by oath or by choice means belonging.” Studies have shown that even just mouthing words about inclusion really does decrease incidents of abuse and exclusion. And surely it would also comfort some who have reasons to fear rejection.

  • If your family has a ritual of prayers or thanksgiving before these big holiday meals, encourage family members to bring quotations or prayers that resonate with them from various cultures and traditions, whether spiritual or secular. Be clear that all are welcome, even when you’re speaking to those who you know have a firm religion. This will help to prepare them for including others, and will go a long way toward welcoming those who might feel marginalized. One way to make this particularly fun is to bring a lot of different quotations and prayers on slips of paper and let people draw them out of a hat to read or choose from a pile in the middle of the table.

  • When (for most of us it isn’t a question of “if”) someone protests the inclusion of traits or beliefs they consider to be wrong, have a clear response prepared to refer them to, such as, “In this house we don’t allow exclusion or derogatory comments about traits someone can’t control or about beliefs that don’t harm anyone else. Please respect the house rules, if you wish to stay.” There is always the question of tolerating the intolerant. The only way I know to solve this one is to say that what we tolerate is what harms no one, while we don’t tolerate that which infringes on or harms others. We don’t insult someone who suffers from addiction. Yet, we also don’t let someone force harmful smoke on others. If you are unlucky enough to run into the argument that being gay or trans is a “choice,” you have my sympathy and I suggest simply sticking to the facts that medically it is not considered voluntary and that these traits do not harm anyone else.

  • It is hard to ban all “political” discussion in a world where almost everything personal is political, but it may be a good idea to ask your family to refrain from discussing political figures or specific proposals during the holiday gathering, if you know there is division in your family. There is a difference in the provocation in a statement like, “I want to toast to the health of Bernie Sanders. May he live long and lead well as president next year,” versus something personal but also potentially fraught with politics like, “Hi Grandma, this is my partner Sydney.” Laying down the rules on that difference is worth the trouble.

  • If things do get heated, remember that silence usually favors the privileged and helps abusers. It rarely comforts the vulnerable or the unjustly rejected. Favor those who are generally marginalized in any moderating of discussion. Remember that tears and anger as well as withdrawal are common reactions to hurt and exclusion. Defend anyone who is disrespected for circumstances beyond their control or for harmless beliefs. Ask those who attack or belittle others to be silent first, when trying to put down open conflict.

  • Most of all listen and work toward actual empathy. As hard as it is, if and when words are spoken on difficult subjects, listen to what is expressed and try to reflect back to the speaker in a way that assumes good intentions. “Uncle Brad, I am hearing you say that you feel like liberals want to let in all these refugees but we don’t even talk to our next door neighbors. I know you’re the kind of guy who helps anyone stuck by the side of the road and I believe you really do care about people.” Then if you really don’t want to talk politics, stop there. Don’t try to give your side. Just ask if Uncle Brad is willing to put off the discussion to another time.

  • Consider asking your family to use a gift spending limit or a homemade gift exchange. Whatever we can do to lessen the level of consumerism in our lives will help in many ways. Beyond that, as wealth inequality widens and families become more diverse, wealth inequality within families also widens. If you haven’t yet witnessed a family conflict sparked by accusations or insecurities over differences between gift values, you definitely don’t want to find out what such a fight is like. Sort names randomly in advance and encourage family members to make a homemade gift, a gift of a shared experience or simply a gift under a reasonably low price limit. Or alternatively, encourage homemade gifts for everyone (such as soap, candles, cookie tins, ornaments, potholders, photos, artwork, etc.) and encourage those who don’t do crafts to buy only small gifts for everyone of similar type (pens, chocolates, gloves, etc.).

  • Get to know the individual needs in your family as best you can. You may have only vaguely heard that aunt-so-and-so is sick long-term. Find a moment, on the phone beforehand or privately during the event to ask if there is anything she needs. She’ll probably say “no,” even if it’s not true, so be on the lookout thereafter. This isn’t “being a mother hen.” It’s just being a healthy family member. The same goes for family members with long-standing, known disabilities. You may think you know what your brother on the autism spectrum or with a vision impairment needs, but the chances are that since he grew up he has learned a lot more about what he needs himself that he didn’t know before. Ask how this family gathering can be made easy and comfortable for people with infants or older people or anyone else who might have uncommon difficulty. It may seem like extra effort that has to be put out in the beginning, but the savings in stress and effort over the long run are enormous.

  • Many winter holiday celebrations, beyond Thanksgiving, incorporate a ritual of stating one’s reasons for gratitude. This is a beautiful tradition, however it does entail a focus on forcing everyone to be cheerful, regardless of circumstances. A good addition to this might be to state what one is thankful for and also a mistake one would like to make amends for. This may make those most privileged a little uncomfortable, but no more than the gratitude thing makes those less privileged uncomfortable. It balances and makes the ritual “real.” Alternatively, each person might state something they would like to heal or rectify in themselves or their family over the next year.

  • As the previous point implies, not everyone is happy and cheerful during the holidays. It is wonderful when we can gather around with genuine smiles and belly laughs full of shared joy. But there are times and circumstances when we can’t. Be aware of those in your family, including yourself, who might be struggling to be cheerful. A hug, an offer of a quiet place to withdraw when needed and an acknowledgement that “it’s okay to not be okay,” go a long way toward real inclusion and are likely to bring on more smiles.

This list probably isn’t comprehensive. It is just my ideas and at the same time it is overwhelming for one person to take on. If you have a family which is consciously trying to transform interactions and make a more peaceful and inclusive gathering, it may be helpful to print this list out, cut each point onto separate pieces of paper and let family members choose to be in charge of encouraging and implementing one or two points.

The person who chooses a given point then becomes the family advisor on that issue for the gathering. They make an effort to implement the point personally or organize any group activity involved and they may also gently remind others of the shared goal of inclusion and peace when tensions rise.

Above all, remember that this is not easy but it is worth the effort.

Peace be on your house and may love infuse your winter holiday celebration.

Marginalized groups in XR: Will you come or will you go?

Macrocosm

Storm winds are surging within the climate justice movement Extinction Rebellion. Just as in a physical storm the clouds and waves are occupied with their own internal turmoil and any given droplet of water within them is both ineffective and blameless by itself.

In October, a small group in London claiming to be part of Extinction Rebellion mounted an unpopular action, blocking a subway station by gluing themselves to trains and climbing on top of trains during rush hour. The rationale behind such actions is similar to the actions blocking bridges and road traffic. The point there was not so much to be against cars as an unsustainable form of transportation. It was simply to sound a high, loud alarm.

The message of XR blockades is “STOP! Just stop business as usual! Pay attention! There is nothing as important as the climate crisis now!”

The reasoning behind it is that the warnings given by scientists, saying that we have a very limited amount of time left in which we can realistically avert massive disaster and uncountable deaths from hunger, storms and extreme heat, are real.

And we either believe that a consensus among ninety-nine percent of the world’s scientists is a serious matter, that facts are real and the laws of physics actually do apply to us, or we don’t. If we believe those things, there isn’t really any other common sense response than to do whatever it takes to bring about changes that might just be able to save millions of lives.

Photo by Arie Farnam

Photo by Arie Farnam

That’s the intention. Extinction Rebellion hasn’t distanced from the group of activists who carried out the London subway blockade because the rules of the movement are also real. If someone subscribes to the ten principles of XR, including non-violence, refraining from shaming, mutual support and challenging power structures, they can call themselves Extinction Rebellion. That is what the London subway blockaders did.

But the vast majority of XR members voiced vehement objections to the action. Some simply felt that the movement shouldn’t target reasonably carbon-light transportation alternatives, such as rail transport of any kind. After all, subways and light rail are the kind of things we need to be moving toward, even if Extinction Rebellion refuses to put out exact specifications for solutions.

The movement insists that a people’s assembly—chosen through a jury system, rather than through a heavily financed election—should decide how we move forward to solve the climate crisis. But rail transport is one of the non-controversial assumptions about what that solution will have to entail.

Others have more complex reasons for their complaints. The trains blocked in this particular action happened to come from some of the poorest parts of London, full of immigrants and ethnic minorities on the way to minimum wage jobs with harsh tardiness policies.

Extinction Rebellion is not immune to the accusations leveled at most environmental organizations that it’s a place for middle-class white people to work out their rebellious streak and generalized anxiety. Extinction Rebellion has made an effort since the beginning to keep a permanent focus on inclusion, but this action felt like a slap in the face to a lot of people of color.

One of the ten XR principles is “We accept everyone and every part of everyone.” It’s supposed to be inclusive and the small print talks about inclusion of every kind of vulnerable group. But some people of color have expressed that they don’t feel nice and cozy and safe when they hear this principle. Instead they immediately wonder if the white supremacist parts of some people might be included in that blanket acceptance statement.

There are other principles that point toward inclusion and much of the in-depth but technically non-binding structural documents that make up the DYI systems to set up XR branches in every city around the world go into detail about cultural sensitivity, inclusion and recognizing the different experience with police that people in vulnerable groups may have. Extinction Rebellion tries, but it is still an attempt at sensitivity by a bunch of white people.

“Rebels”. (as XR members call themselves) have employed a popular chant over the past year when police intervene to force an end to a blockade. “Police, we love you! We do this for your children!” has echoed in every English speaking country as well as quite a few where the words are foreign. In Prague, the Czech rebels at our October blockade yelled it in thickly accented English, while police hauled away 130 of our friends, injuring some.

And yet, black people back in the UK, where Extinction Rebellion started, and across the water in the US have said essentially, “Ahem, that’s not going to work for us.” Love just isn’t happening in the relationship between black people and the police in the UK or the US, where random police interactions with black people wind up with way too many black people dead. Most black rebels in these countries are not even sitting on the blockades and getting arrested.

While white rebels risk a night in jail, a fine and a misdemeanor record, black people risk their lives just walking or driving, let alone poking the police bear. It is less that black rebels don’t want to say the chant as it is that it sounds like white people wallowing in white privilege.

Now, after the Autumn Rebellion, many XR groups online and off are tackling the issue of inclusion. I’m glad they are because I see this as the Achille’s heel of this movement, which has achieved a great deal in one short year. If Extinction Rebellion fails to fuel massive public demand for climate justice at every political level, it will be because we fail the inclusion part.

That isn’t just because we should be good people or that we need the numbers that vulnerable groups could provide by joining us. It is most importantly at the core of what has made XR successful so far. We should include people of color, people with disabilities and all the other vulnerable groups not for their sake, but for everyone’s sake. Everyone has some vulnerability and it is when we see those more vulnerable than us truly included that we can fully commit our energy, time and resources to this kind of effort. Inclusion isn’t just for those we shouldn’t exclude.

When it is there, it permeates the entire culture. When it isn’t there, no one is safe, and social interactions are a constant battle of individuals trying to stay in the center of the herd, furthest from exclusion.

Microcosm

When I first joined XR, I was glad to find that no one made much of my disability. They were happy to try to accommodate my vision impairment by letting me know who was who, and I was so grateful to be treated a bit better than the immediate social stereotyping and dismissal that I encounter on a daily basis in society.

But as time went on and more and more people joined XR, I have watched that early focus on inclusion fade and thin. New people often come from a non-activist environment and they bring with them the exclusionist assumptions of the wider society. Those who have been there longer are tired and desperate to reach some kind of tangible goal. Inclusion starts to feel like a luxury we can’t afford.

I have been reticent to write openly about the difficulties I’ve run into with exclusion within XR over the past few months, because i too am focused on the ultimate goal. But the events of recent weeks around the world have convinced me that we must talk about these things openly. Because it is exclusion that will take us down.

It is not a luxury. It’s the heart of the matter.

There may be a few exceptions, but by and large the people who join XR are open-minded and informed. They are people who believe in science enough to put their regular lives on hold and do something about a crisis that for most of us—in white-majority countries at least—is still largely theoretical. They are also demonstrably people who take personal responsibility and eschew laziness, because rather than simply talking about the crisis, they are doing something.

These factors mean that even though XR has people from both the political left and the political right, most are already tolerant, nice people. They don’t think of themselves as racist, ablest or otherwise exclusionist. Many even consider themselves actively anti-racist or anti-ableist. And a lot of them feel like this should be enough.

But as with the London subway blockade and the police chant, it clearly isn’t. For me, as the only significantly disabled person in my local XR group, I have to agree. My group has been wonderful in consciously working to include me. I truly appreciate that, and yet I know that most people with disabilities in my place would have left long ago and I am constantly close to leaving the group myself.

I asked a friend who uses a wheelchair to join and she just laughed ruefully. I couldn’t really argue. The group says they want a person in a wheelchair at the blockades because it would make for good press photos, but no one has ever even mentioned the fact that we’ve never held a meeting in a place that was even remotely wheelchair accessible. They want a person with a wheelchair as a prop, not as an organizer.

There are two categories of issues I can identify that cause me to feel excluded in the group even without the issue of physical accessibility. which given the conditions isn’t really their fault.

First, there is a tolerance for intolerance, as that principle about accepting all parts of everyone implies. While most people are inclusive and welcoming, there are those who are not and the group not only tolerates them but insists that I must tolerate them. If I speak up, even very discretely about exclusion and hate directed toward me, I am told that the urgency of our goal demands that I tolerate it and don’t rock the boat.

Second, there is a lack of understanding about the effects that exclusion in the wider society have had on me and a marked lack of tolerance for any reaction I have to social exclusion.

In one prominent example, a person in a position of power in my group decided early on that she did not like me. Her explanation focused primarily on communication issues, specifically that some of my texts were too long. Being a writer, I can be a bit wordy, but when I can, I go back and edit. Written communication usually isn’t a problem for me.

But in this case, we were using a phone app for daily communication within the group. I can’t type on the tiny phone screen very well because it is too small for me to see, so I was dictating my texts. This meant that my texts were especially long. When we speak, we naturally use more words than when we write. To add to this, editing on my phone in extremely small print is next to impossible for me. Yes, blind people use audio interfaces that make it technically doable but it is excruciatingly slow. Sometimes i do spend literally hours editing a few texts for the group to make things readable. But most of the time, with my work, household, children and all, I didn’t have time. I just dictated texts and sent them, oral vagueness and all.

So, the dislike this person initially developed toward me was based on something that was a symptom of my disability. She is a person steeped in European good manners and social justice thinking. I am certain that she would never intentionally exclude a person over a disability or some other irrelevant trait. But she did—likely obliviously—develop her antipathy for me over something that was part of my disability.

She and the rest of the group chose to call it “a difference in communication styles,” and despite my explanations, refuse to see it as disability related or reconsider her conclusions. When she initially adopted her negative view of me, I was utterly confused. We had, only one day before, had a wonderful conversation in which she told me that I would be working with her closely and expressed a lot of support for my work in the organization. And then suddenly, I was cut off from communications and told that she no longer wanted to work with me.

She later said that my reaction shocked her. After a lifetime of social rejection and even complete isolation for years at a time, I don’t take abrupt, unexplained rejection well. My first reaction was to cry, then to try to defend myself and later to bargain. For so many people with disabilities social rejection is a real visceral danger and I am no exception in that.

It is understandable then that my reaction came across as out-of-proportion and overly pushy to someone who felt she was simply setting some boundaries with an annoying individual who writes overly long texts.

But here’s the thing. After many months of informal exclusion, I was forced to accept an agreement in which we would be sensitive in our communications with each other and I would stay away from powerful roles within the organization in order to minimize contact between me and this person in power. This was the only way i could stay in the group at all.

That may sound like a reasonable compromise, and it did to most of the local XR rebels. But imagine if this had been a black person instead of a person with a disability. Imagine that someone expressed dislike of a black person because of the way they spoke or dressed or some other cultural attribute and started excluding that person. Imagine then—it isn’t hard at all—that the black person got intense and up in that person’s face because they have been excluded and dismissed way too often by white people, and subsequently that the those in power limited the black person to low-level roles as a means to avoid further conflict.

Realistically, most black people—and most people with disabilities—would not get intense. They’d just leave. That is ONE of those reasons that there are so few people from marginalized groups in XR and similar organizations. But it is not at all difficult to imagine this scenario, because like me, some black people stay and fight.

Now, in the scenario with the black person most anti-racist white people are now educated enough to see the problem and to call this exclusion. We aren’t perfect yet and i’m sure this does happen in Extinction Rebellion to black people. But very few abled people are informed enough to see the same situation clearly when the issue is disability. For whatever reason, that’s just the dynamic.

The end result is that, if I want to continue to be part of Extinction Rebellion, I have to constantly bump up against the antagonistic walls set for me, where I am not allowed to take on national roles in the group. And I have to constantly see the XR messages urging us to put people from marginalized groups in positions of power and to feel their hypocrisy.

There are a very few people of color in our local group as well and none of them have significant roles. I don’t know them well enough to discuss the reasons why personally. But the fact is that our group has the option of putting people with disabilities or people of color in visible and/or powerful roles and it doesn’t. In fact, it has barred a person with a disability from national roles, based on symptoms of the disability and post-traumatic responses to social exclusion.

We’ve got a problem.

And I—like many other rebels from marginalized groups—now have to decide day by day if I stay and fight for the soul of this movement I believe holds our best chance for the future or if I let it go and take care of myself.